I never written a blog post about a book or it's effect on me but I will make an exception for this one because this book has made me a better person and made me more aware of myself.
How I came across this book? As you know, I have a reading list and this book was part of the must read books before you die. I don't like self-help books or books with lots of advice about how to live our lives but I made an exception for this one to see what the fuss was about. I'm so glad i bought it.
The Happiness Project book was written by Gretchen Rubin who's mission is to be more happier over a year and how she introduces or changes things in her life. I had to have a notebook next to me to write down all the tips and fabulous quotes that I came across.
So I'm going to try and summarise what I changed for the better.
1) Understanding myself
This is a big issue for me. How can I explain myself when I can't understand myself? Till I had children, I was always compared to others which made me think that i was never good enough. My parents and husband always have high expectations of me and I always feel that I fall short of it. Being myself meant nothing to me. Since I was small, I always tried to be someone else. I based the way I dressed, spoke, behave, etc.... from girls which my parents were praising and comparing me too. It took me becoming a mother that i found out that I finally found myself i.e that I am as good as i am and there's only one of me!I can't please everyone and that is ok. How awesome is that?! It took me 21years to realise that! It doesn't mean that i don't have those moments were I wished I was like someone else and doubting myself. My parents and husband are very good at reminding me that too. But I've developed such a good deaf ear for the past 11 years that I'm able to filter out their comments.. I also asked my best critics to describe me and the good things overshadowed the negative things. It gave me the confidence that I was good enough! i carry that list in my diary just in case i need a boost. Reading this book, reinforced that i was unique and if people don't want to accept me (my bad and goods), it is their loss!
2) Happiness to me
I've written a blog all about it here back in 2017 and looking back on it nothing much changed:
https://www.blogger.com/u/2/blog/post/edit/4124083420943040106/8167431094138906474
Reading this book made me also realise how hobbies are quite important and self-care. I've been investing more in taking care of myself over the last year. The hours after the kids have gone to bed are MY time. My commuting is strictly for reading or listening to song. It has done wonders to my mood. If I wanted to learn something, I do it. I wanted to start making my own jewellery and lat year, I bought the tools and I have never looked back since! It also saved a lot of money.
I loved creating memories but never had the time to document in a great way however after this book, I began scrapbooking and started making notebooks for everything off my interests. I have a reading book listing all the books I've read, a crafts book where I document all the crafts I've done with kids, a recipe book, a travel book, a notebook with topics that I want to learn about i.e. politics, inspirational women, the Eelam struggle, mythology, etc... since the kids 1st birthdays, i've been writing letters for the kids and emailing them frequently about things that i wanted to share with them here and there. I also want to start a photo album highlighting each their year and since this book, the daunting task of going through and organising my iCloud, usbs and mycloud has become a real joy! I've come across videos and photos that I've forgotten about and this is all thanks to this book. Imagine, the expressions on my kids' faces when they get to open all of these and see their memories being documented in such a manner! Lucky has already told me that if I die before I visit all the countries in my travel list that she'll carry my ashes with her and she'll make it a mission. Mahi has already claimed my recipe book to use when he's older! This gives me so much joy!
Not sure if this is because of kids but my artistic side has been flourishing. However, after reading the book, I thought I could become more braver with it. This year for Christmas I made my own personal gifts where I handprinted boxes and the kids loved that! They own mini keepsake boxes.
Traditions
The book emphasised on every family having their own quirky traditions as that's what makes us a family right?! It made me appreciate our family as a unit more. I love when my kids say for example "We don't do pancake day because every Sunday, it's our pancake day". Heres more of our traditions.
https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/4124083420943040106/3257637408432528859
Living in the moment/making it count
I didn't need this book to tell me this as my job in cancer is a constant reminder that life is precious. However, sometime you forget and this book made sure that i remembered that life is fragile I don't like to think too much of the future as I don't know if I'll be alive or not. I enjoy everyday and make it count. I've come to a habit of praising a random person either on social media or in real-lie. For example, there's this lady on my commute who wears some beautiful skirt and I just went upto her and praised her on her skirt. The lady was so happy and that made my day. the feeling of making someone's day brings so much happiness. I have been doing that lately on social media too. On one of the FB groups, there's this lady repurposing old furniture and it is stunning. I just messaged her how stunning her work is and she replied with saying how it meant the world to her. That made me happy. Whether it's signing a petition a retweeting a charity/business, everyday I try to do something that will mean something to someone. I've become more conscious of using my phone around the house. I put my phone in my room and spend the evening fully focused on my kids. I started to hide all technologies over the weekend so we are not distracted. Little changes like this mades a huge difference.
Secure a future
Although living in the moment, some kind of planning the future is vital. When I talk of future, I talk of my kids futures especially. I try to make their adult life as smooth as I can. I've had life insurance for the past 8 years and savings for the kids. The book reminded me to write a will although I have nothing in my possession and saving for myself too!!!! Thinking about others mean I forget about myself!
I've rambled on enough. Read the book! I assure you, you will learn something new in every chapter! We make our own happiness!
