It's Children's Mental Health Week this week and with a rising number of children, getting younger and younger, experiencing mental health issues, it is vital that us as parents/carers/guardians are equipped to deal with these situations, if the problem arises.
What are mental health issues that kids can experience when everything has been taken care of and they just play/study, some of you might chuckle? Ahhh! If only life could be that much easier eh? But no, any mental health issues experienced by adults such as anxiety, stress, depression, etc... can be experienced by kids too! School life, family dynamics, social media, poverty, homelessness, etc... can impact and sometimes traumatise a child so much. Children are vulnerable and susceptible to all these hence why we need to be extremely attentive to them.
Last year, due to an incident which created a major imbalance in our family dynamics, Lucky's behaviour changed! Lucky is very open to me and doesn't hide her feelings. So when we were having of our 1-1 alone time and I had asked her about her behaviour, she told me about having very bad thoughts and communicated those thoughts to me! With the help of her school, she was fast tracked to a children's mental health service and was diagnosed with an anxiety and stress disorder. She has counselling and play therapy, which she has found very helpful. Lucky has now been discharged from both. What we found, through this journey was that communication is key. Not just verbal but body language too. Lucky is very easy to communicate to. She doesn't hide anything from me so I know how to best support her during her tough times. However, with Mahi, it's not as easy. He'll tell you when he is sad or happy but sometimes, he doesn't. He is very hard to communicate with. So I use drawing, his passion, to talk to him about everything and it works! Things just flow out of him! Every child is different therefore we need to find the right way to communicate best with our children.
Here are some tips I use with my kids to help them have a healthy mind:
1. 1-1 time with each kid- I try and spend at least 10mins with each kid, every day, to do an activity they want to. During that time, whilst doing activities. We talk about nothing and everything without getting interrupted by anything.
2. Creating a safe space to talk - the school is their 2nd home and the kids need to be comfortable in knowing where their safe space to talk to an adult is. It is vital that a safe space is also established at home so they know they won't be interrupted if they want to talk. My bedroom is my kids safe space.
3. Having a routine/timetable of the days events reduces stress and uncertainty. I got a whiteboard with a schedule of events for that week so they know what is happening and where they need to be. I found that my kids hate sudden changes to their day or turn rowdy if there's no structure.
4. Do not show panic - children are very sensitive and observant of behaviours. Thus, it is vital to maintain a certain composure when kids share sensitive information with you. If you start panicking while they tell you certain things, their anxiety levels rise up. So composure is extremely important.
5. Respect your kids feelings - what you consider, as an adult, minor could be major for your child. Do not laugh at or undermine their feelings. Understand their viewpoint and feelings. Help them.
6. Social circle - keep an eye on their social circle and what those friends do. They]re are friends and there are 'friends' . Teach your child what is what. Teach them what to look out for in order for them to act accordingly.
7. Be their biggest support network - be there for your kids when they need you. Support and nurture them. Understand their needs and wants. Understand what clicks and what doesn't!
Don't forget that parenting as a whole is a work in progress. Nobody is perfect! But we can support our kids emotionally as much as we can to help them keep a healthy mindset.
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