Discovering Southwark

Discovering Southwark

On a sunny and hot Saturday, we thought we’ll discover Southwark and invited Laksha’s penpal, Ameira too. We started the ‘tour’ with a nice hearty lunch at the diverse Borough Market. Kids were thrilled and sometimes not so thrilled at what they saw (Kangaroo burgers, live lobsters,etc...). We did have a hard time picking what we wanted to eat since there was so many choices! 

After having a wandering around taking in the sights and smell of Borough market, we headed down for some pirate training on the Golden Hind begins the market. Again, very affordable and parents got to join in to! It was just our kids and us parents which made it even more special! We got to dress up first as pirates and train in sword fighting! Who knew there were so many defence and attack skills! Our pirate trainer was funny, patient and very good at teaching us all those important skills! Once we finished learning about fighting like a pirate, we had to train ourselves on the cannonball guns! Again, lots to take in but the training was very comprehensive and each of us had a very important job. We then had a practise run to make sure we all knew our roles and the actual loading of the gun was timed! With lots of teamwork and communication, we loaded a cannonball gun in just 35secs! Woohoo! Of course, after all that hard work, we were starving. We then had a snack and a drink (provided for) while learning to sing pirate songs! What great fun! Before we knew it, the hour has flown by! The kids and parents had a real insight into how to be a real pirate, we even got certificates to prove! Mahi could now proudly say he is an official pirate and be Jack Sparrow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 we still stayed on as the kids wanted to play hide and seek and extra lore the boat while we mums relaxed in the deck! Golden Hind has lots of events going on and I would highly recommend them!

After a hard hour of being a pirate, in another 2 minutes walk away was the Clink Museum. Laksha loves history therefore what better place to visit Britain’s oldest museum? Mahi was utterly scared (since the London Bridge experience, that child has been traumatised) but after forcing him and him finding out there was nothing scary, he also enjoyed it! He even had the important job of doing the rat hunt to get us a prize! The museum itself was rich in history and very child friendly. I learned so much and after 17 years in the country, learning England’s history though Laksha’s eyes and it was fascinating. There were weapons and other equipments that were used in the older times for us to try too! It was mostly about religious prisoners hence a great insight into the division of Christianity in old England. The museum tour took us about 40minutes and the kids wanted it to be longer. There was so much to learn and see though. Again, very affordable and will be enjoyed by W everyone. Thanks to Mahi, we also had our surprise (lollipops) for the rat hunt!

We then had a nice stroll alongside the south bank and came across The Globe,m who have exciting events for kids in July, the OXO tower who had a free exhibition in Windrush going on, the book market and the food market just behind Southbank centre.

We were so exhausted by the end of the day but we’ve done some great exploring!

Learn your lesson!

Learn your lesson 

When young, we promise ourselves that when we become parents, we won't do certain things our parents did to us when we were kids! But fast forward 20-30yrs, are you really taking up to your own advice or do you see mirroring all your parent's actions that you loathed when you were a kid?  

Parenting is no easy task and there's no right or wrong way to do it. We know our kids best and know what they want and/or need, how to encourage them and guide them in their lives. Right?! Well to some extent! When we become parents we magically forget how we felt about certain things that our parents did when we were kids ourselves! For example, when I was a kid and still now, being married and a mum of 2, I hate it when people compare me to someone else! I don't care if it was for my best intentions, to encourage me and be proactive, if they really knew me they knew I had my own special skills and talents and that I will do my things in my own way!! And that was one valuable lesson I learned from my parents! I don't compare my kids to anyone else even when it is putting my child into the favourable light. I know how it feels when you think your parents don't trust that you'll do will do it and still now, I suffer from confidence and self-esteem from time to time! I cannot bear to put my 2 beautiful kids through that! My kids are different and every kid is different! And this is what parents need to know and understand!  

Another thing that I always hated was competition. So and so is doing this, so you have to do it too! My opinion never mattered! They thought they knew best!  For me it was keyboard classes and tuition! Just because some of my mom's friends, friends, cousin's aunts daughter kids did it (ok I'm exaggerating here but you get my point) me and my brothers were put through that torture too! However, my parents got the point that keyboard wasn't working because I never did improve on it or played keyboard in my spare time! And for tuition, they actually listened when I said I will go to it if I really needed help (but then they probably agreed because tutoring 3 kids was just too expensive)! Why couldn't they have asked my opinion before enrolling me and wasting all that money on things that were of no interest to me?!  So once my daughter was old enough to start classes, I always asked her opinions! And she was 2 when she started her classes! Yes! I wanted her to try everything and took to so many trial classes but I knew my limit was just the trial classes! I can't give my child something she doesn't like! For example, I am an avid swimmer and at first, my daughter thoroughly enjoyed it! But then she seemed to loose interest and told me she didn't want to do it anymore, for certain reasons! And with a heavy heart, I did stop her! Of course when we are parents we want to give our children all the opportunities there is in the world but there's a limit and that limit only your child knows!  

Like you learn from your parents mistakes, you can learn from their success! Despite a few hiccups as mentioned above, my parents truly were the best parents a child can have! They didn't have much but as a child I never knew that because whatever I wanted to do or have (with a limit of course) I had! For instance, I love swings! And I remember my dad and my uncle building me swing, out of scratch from whatever that lay around. To some spoilt kid,that would have looked like rubbish but to me, it was the best present anyone can offer! And wherever we settled , there was always a swing awaiting me! Many memories of my dad playing with us even when he returned home exhausted, trips everywhere, always took pride in everything I did even when I didn't fare well in some competitions. But most importantly, no matter how much they were crumbling on the inside, their faces was nothing but smiley and full of love! These are some of the many positive things that my parents taughtt me!  

A parent is the child's first teacher! In education and in life! But of course there's no perfect teacher! So whatever positive things we can learn, we need to implement it! Whatever negative things there has been, we need to discard that so that our children do not go through what we went through! But most importantly, every parent should know that very child is an individual with its own skills, personality,  talents and ability! And no matter what age they are, we need to respect them and their decisions! These were my lessons from my parents! What were your lesson(s) from your parents? 

Keeping fit during pregnancy!

Pregnant/new baby? Keeping fit? No way!! 

Keeping fit normally takes a lot of dedication, time and motivation. So keeping fit while pregnant of after birth is out of the question for most women, especially Asian women.  I have been a ‘victim’ where some Tamil aunties have called me crazy to do exercise while pregnant. But, by God’s grace, 2 easy labours, 2 healthy babies and a fit me, I learned how wrong those aunties were. It’s been 5 years since I first given birth and even now people can’t believe I am a mother of 2 (being a young mum also helps a lot). I am always asked how I regained my pre-pregnancy body. Unfortunately, I’m no Kim Kardashian to pay for a fitness instructor. It is all DIY and wanted to share to my beloved beautiful expecting mothers and mums, tips and benefits on keeping fit. 

As a young girl, I saw my mother looking at her old photos enviously and telling me how she would love to get back to that shape she was. However, numerous diets later, purchasing exercise bike and trying to start on healthy diets she just couldn’t lose the weight that she gained during her 3 pregnancies.  Finally, she just accepted that she can never lose her baby fat. We grew up in a culture, where once our family finds out we are pregnant, our mothers come to help us with everything and all we had to do was eat the nice food they’ll cook and relax which leads to putting on extra weight . I believe the root of this problem is the lack of exercise and the lack of a healthy diet. Sound familiar? Then take action! It’s never too late to start exercising although your body will benefit more if you started during your pregnancy. It isn’t easy and it doesn’t happen overnight. Keep in mind that, in order to get the result you want, it will take time! If you have that mindset then nothing can stop you from having that perfect pre-pregnancy body you had.  However, doing it too much is not good either! 

Unfortunately, with only my husband doing his best to look after his pregnant wife, I did not have time to relax nor think about exercise. My boss at that time was truly a God-send. When she found out I was pregnant, she supported me enormously. She is the one who taught me how looking after yourself will not only do you good but your baby good too and eventually your pregnancy and the aftermath! As a mother of 5 and a fitness instructor, after my shift, we will go into the fitness studio and will teach me both pilates/gyrotonics! I never knew how much a pregnant woman’s body can stretch until then! To this day, I still practise some basic pilates moves. I started my maternity leave 1 week before my due date and that week was used to move house. My daughter arrived 12 minutes before her due date and the whole thing lasted 8 hours. No pain relief was used except the birth pool. My baby was healthy and I quickly regained my pre-pregnancy body with a month.  Why? Exercise! In my second pregnancy, I was busy with my final year exam, dissertation and an internship which finished 1 week before my due date. I did swimming with my daughter (bonding time and exercise for me, win-win situation). My son was born on his due date. Start to finish – 3 hours. Another natural birth. No fuss. Went home the next day and straight into the kitchen to cook lunch. Body back in less than a month! How?! Keeping active. It is common psychology that when you feel good about yourself, you become positive too and this is extremely true. From my experience, you may call me crazy, I thoroughly enjoyed both my pregnancies and my labours and importantly, no pre/post-natal depression moments. I always had a positive outlook and to this day, still have that! 

Exercising means, walking more, taking stairs whenever possible, cleaning around the house (vacuuming, sweeping), etc...  However, there are very specific exercises that you must do while pregnant. These are: 

• 1) Pelvic floor exercise. The most important exercise that you need to keep doing until your old age. The pelvic floor is the major muscles which is going to help you in pushing your baby out. This involves pulling in your inner muscles, as if you are trying not to go to toilet and hold it there for 10 whole seconds and relax. You need to repeat these 8 times. These can be done sitting down, standing up, at work, watching tv, waiting in a queue or even when driving. Doing this exercise after pregnancy will strengthen those muscles again ready for your next baby but also reduces the risk of incontinence ( urine leakage) 
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• 2) Abdominal muscle exercise .During pregnancy, we lose our abdomen so this exercise will help you regain it after baby by strengthening those core muscles. Kneel down on all fours and breathes and out 10 times without arching your back.  
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• 3) Back exercise.  As we all know, carrying the weight of the baby has a profound effect on our back. This exercise will help relieving that pain. Lay down on your back, knees up and relaxed and breathing in and out. 
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A combination of those specific exercises and normal daily exercise will prepare you for labour by stretching the relevant muscles and also by having a positive, feel-good pregnancy as exercising relieves stress. It will also  increase the blood supply and as a result, more oxygen for the baby.  

Balancing exercise with a healthy diet is essential. I never believed in commercial diets and neither should you! There are just to rip off money. When pregnant, I started to eat more healthily by steaming food instead of cooking it the usual Asian way. This way, you don’t lose any vitamins and minerals that is needed for your baby and you. Yes, it doesn’t taste nice but once we enter motherhood, we need to be ready to sacrifice things we once loved. For me it was Nutella and sour sweets, much to my frustration (however that only lasted until I gave birth)  

Once baby is out, most women just don’t have time. And it is true. Looking after a newborn is time-consuming, emotionally and mentally draining. But if you manage your time properly, then you will find time to keep fit. As soon as I was allowed to go out, I put my baby in the pushchair and just started to walk/run. Getting fresh air will benefit your body and your mental health. It is a benefit to your screaming baby too. He/she will love the fresh air and go to sleep, much to our relief.  So don’t blame the weather. Plan something to do each day thus you won’t feel like you haven’t done anything! If this is your second baby, then playing with your firstborn will also burn some off those calories. With my firstborn, we play catch, hide and seek, wrestle and dance. If my son is awake then we get him involved too. This way, your elder child won’t get left out, your baby will get tired from all that playing and you feel much happier that you have lost some calories. But I also never forgot to do my pelvic floor exercises! In terms of diet, I never miss my breakfast. It is the most essential meal of the day which will provide you with the energy you need for your whole day! Lunch is mostly Sri Lankan food. Dinner is light an usually Western food and I never eat rice at that time of the day! 

Now that you have read this, you can’t use your pregnancy or having a newborn as an excuse! So start living healthy, exercise with or without baby and get your pre-pregnancy body back! After all, a happy mummy= happy family. So ready, steady, go!!!! 

What it means to be a woman today?

What is it to be a woman today? 

The world celebrated international women's day on the 8th of March.  It was nice to see my Facebook and Twitter timelines filled with people telling then how a special female has inspired them. For me, it is my daughter.  If it wasn't for her, I would have been dead by now and I’m saying that in a literal way! Although it is great to celebrate a women, why don't we celebrate women around us everyday?? Women around the world are subject to violence, abuse and discrimination. Gender inequality is still a huge problem across the world! UN reports say for women to earn as much as men, it will take 43 years minimum!! Although women are starting to make a stand for themselves, most of them just accept the fact that because they are female,  discrimination and inequality is part of 

their agenda. But when and where did they accept these discrimination and inequality?! At a very young age and in their own home by their own family! Does this shock you? Maybe if I tell you some scenarios, it will sound familiar! 

When I was a teenager, if I wanted to go out I had to ask a week or so in advance.  After a lengthy questioning of who I was going with, where, what we see going to do and what time... I will then need to wait a couple of days before the verdict is given. Most of the time, it was a yes. And on the day, it’ll be endless calls!However,  when my brother states (not asks) to go out, usually with no pre-warning, that is not not a problem.  I understand the safety aspect of me going out but isn't 

my brother at the same risk? Shouldn't my brother go through the same process as I went through?  Why not? Because I was a girl. My friend's brother will have his girls pals around and that was not an issue but god forbid, if my friend bought some guy pals, it was the family's honour going! Why this different treatment? Because she was a girl! When a colleague was offered a PhD at a renowned university, the parents didn't allow her because who will marry her if she has too many qualifications? Why was she denied further education? Because she was a girl! Why is the synonym for woman is sacrifice? Why are we the ones to sacrifice things for our families? Why are we called selfish for putting us first? After all, shouldn’t we take care of ourselves so we can take better care of others around us!

Bring a woman nowadays means we are responsible not only to care for our families but also have our own career. Why does the childcare and looking after the home always fall on us, women?  We live in the 21st century and we still have to fight what the society dictates women to do! Why is that when a dad looks after his own child, we call it babysitting? Why is that mothers always have to be put as primary contact on school forms? When I put my husband’s number as primary contact, the admin lady looked at me and asked me if I was sure! Hmm.. Yh! He’s the one at home during the daytime while I’m working.  The look I got for saying I wasn’t the primary caregiver and his forbid for being a working mum…

I have both a daughter and a son and when they grow up, they won't have different rules! If my daughter isn't allowed to go out at night, neither can 

my son! It's simple as that! I want my daughter to grow up in a family where she sees that the same treatment is given to her as much as her brother regardless of gender!  I want my son to grow up knowing that females are equal to men! If they are treated right in their own family then if god forbid something happens to them in the wider world, they can stand up for it! As Emma Watson said in her UN HeforShe speech  "gender inequality is also a man's issue" 

And that is true. Boys are taught from a young age that girls will only belong to the kitchen and the bedroom!  They see their mothers giving up their dreams because they have to take care of their family! And most of them see abuse and violence between parents. When that boy grows up to be a man, all that will reciprocate! And the vicious circle continues. Media 

also plays a huge role in this. You can't listen to one song without some kind of sexual reference or bad mouthing women. You can't watch a movie without the actress dancing in skimpy clothes or used just for glamour! Playboys using and throwing women is applauded in movies but if the roles are reversed, the critics tear apart the movie. 

             

Whether you have a son or daughter, teach them the same rules and stick by it! And never say "Because you are a girl, you can't do this". Teach your daughters self-respect and teach your sons respect. Raise them right and raise them equally. You'll be amazed at what kind of inspiring people  they'll become! 

So support the women around and give them those opportunities.  See a woman not only good to take care of her family but of the society too!  Don't limit her! 

Discover Children Centre

This gem is right bang in the centre of Stratford. You have to pay to enter but once in, there are hours of guaranteed entertainment no matter what weather and age!

The exhibition we visited was ‘A World Inside a Book’ which was highlighting all the works of Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler. This is a timed event and should be preferably pre-booked in advance.

We timed the exhibition day with another event there so it was great! We took part in lots of activities and even got to see The Gruffalo! There is an indoor play area in 2 floors and an outdoor play area. Since it was raining, we stayed inside and the kids were easily entertained by climbing up trees, running around and hiding in houses.

Once it was out time for the exhibition, it was truly like entering a magical world of Julia Donaldson’s book. We started with a bit of storytelling before we could play and discover the books! The kids had a whale of a time and thought they truly entered the books. They didn’t want to come out of it.

So, if you have kids who are big Julia Donaldson fans or just want to keep the kids busy during a rainy day, Discover Children’s Centre is the place to go!