Learn your lesson!

Learn your lesson 

When young, we promise ourselves that when we become parents, we won't do certain things our parents did to us when we were kids! But fast forward 20-30yrs, are you really taking up to your own advice or do you see mirroring all your parent's actions that you loathed when you were a kid?  

Parenting is no easy task and there's no right or wrong way to do it. We know our kids best and know what they want and/or need, how to encourage them and guide them in their lives. Right?! Well to some extent! When we become parents we magically forget how we felt about certain things that our parents did when we were kids ourselves! For example, when I was a kid and still now, being married and a mum of 2, I hate it when people compare me to someone else! I don't care if it was for my best intentions, to encourage me and be proactive, if they really knew me they knew I had my own special skills and talents and that I will do my things in my own way!! And that was one valuable lesson I learned from my parents! I don't compare my kids to anyone else even when it is putting my child into the favourable light. I know how it feels when you think your parents don't trust that you'll do will do it and still now, I suffer from confidence and self-esteem from time to time! I cannot bear to put my 2 beautiful kids through that! My kids are different and every kid is different! And this is what parents need to know and understand!  

Another thing that I always hated was competition. So and so is doing this, so you have to do it too! My opinion never mattered! They thought they knew best!  For me it was keyboard classes and tuition! Just because some of my mom's friends, friends, cousin's aunts daughter kids did it (ok I'm exaggerating here but you get my point) me and my brothers were put through that torture too! However, my parents got the point that keyboard wasn't working because I never did improve on it or played keyboard in my spare time! And for tuition, they actually listened when I said I will go to it if I really needed help (but then they probably agreed because tutoring 3 kids was just too expensive)! Why couldn't they have asked my opinion before enrolling me and wasting all that money on things that were of no interest to me?!  So once my daughter was old enough to start classes, I always asked her opinions! And she was 2 when she started her classes! Yes! I wanted her to try everything and took to so many trial classes but I knew my limit was just the trial classes! I can't give my child something she doesn't like! For example, I am an avid swimmer and at first, my daughter thoroughly enjoyed it! But then she seemed to loose interest and told me she didn't want to do it anymore, for certain reasons! And with a heavy heart, I did stop her! Of course when we are parents we want to give our children all the opportunities there is in the world but there's a limit and that limit only your child knows!  

Like you learn from your parents mistakes, you can learn from their success! Despite a few hiccups as mentioned above, my parents truly were the best parents a child can have! They didn't have much but as a child I never knew that because whatever I wanted to do or have (with a limit of course) I had! For instance, I love swings! And I remember my dad and my uncle building me swing, out of scratch from whatever that lay around. To some spoilt kid,that would have looked like rubbish but to me, it was the best present anyone can offer! And wherever we settled , there was always a swing awaiting me! Many memories of my dad playing with us even when he returned home exhausted, trips everywhere, always took pride in everything I did even when I didn't fare well in some competitions. But most importantly, no matter how much they were crumbling on the inside, their faces was nothing but smiley and full of love! These are some of the many positive things that my parents taughtt me!  

A parent is the child's first teacher! In education and in life! But of course there's no perfect teacher! So whatever positive things we can learn, we need to implement it! Whatever negative things there has been, we need to discard that so that our children do not go through what we went through! But most importantly, every parent should know that very child is an individual with its own skills, personality,  talents and ability! And no matter what age they are, we need to respect them and their decisions! These were my lessons from my parents! What were your lesson(s) from your parents?