I've been a mummy for nearly 8years now and I hardly ever had a time and opportunity to just sit down, have a coffee with other moms and talk about parenthood. I'm the only ones of my close friend who has kids so all I could share is how the kids are doing, invite them to birthday parties and that's just about where it ends. My colleagues' kids are much older than mine so no luck there either although we love comparing how parenting changed in some ways.
With Laksha as a student, I never had time to take Lucky to playgroups. Thankfully, my childminder did all that while I was at lectures. When it was study leave or the big holidays, I used to take to playgroups by felt uncomfortable. Not only was I the youngest so I got the weird glances and the forced smiles, the other mum's already made their own intimate circle and avoided those groups. If went to one baby massage class and couldn't wait till it finished. I hated all the talking down from other mums because I was a young mum. So avoided all places where groups of mum's will gather. And that continued when I had Mahi. At weighing in clinic, I quickly weighed in Mahi and just finished it as soon as I can. Although on the inside, I so wanted to talk with other mums to hear they thought and share tips and advice, I just couldn't face the pity look and how I threw away my life so young without knowing my story. Going through parenthood with no family support is hard but to not have someone to talk about all the little things (apart from your husband) is painful. Don't get me wrong, I am so lucky to have the friends I have. They don't have kids but the support they gave me and still give me is great! But I still can't fully open up about my full journey as a mother.
But this weekend changed things. As I was picking up Mahi from one of his best friend's tea party, I was invited to come and sit down with the other mums. I knew the moms already as we arranged play dates but with play dates , you never get the proper opportunity to catch up, relax and chat. So this was eye opening. Again, I was he youngest there but age didn't matter. There were 5 of us sharing the ups and downs of parenthood! It was a place where you could say anything and not be judged. We were all from different cultures and had such immense respect for the different parenting styles we had. As a young mum, people are quick to 'criticise' your parenting skills and their unwanted advice. But here, I felt empowered to talk about my parenting skills and no one telling me this was bad or giving me tips on how to rise MY kids. We loved sharing tips to help each other on some areas where we struggle as the only mom with an 'older' child, the mum's didn't have any inihibitions on asking me (ME!young mum who was always the outside mum who 'didn't know what she was doing with her life' as other mothers I met complained) about advice on primary schools, sleepovers and education! I felt so comfortable and couldn't stop talking! Before you knew it, 2hrs went by! I felt so empowered knowing that just because you have a kid young doesn't mean you are not a good parent. Parenting is different in every household and that as long as we raise good kids, age of when you had your child doesn't matter at all! I now can't wait for my next mummy meet up!
Monday 27 February 2017
Tuesday 21 February 2017
1 Day without Us
I'm a day late for this post but still want to take part in this. '#1daywithoutus is a national day of action on 20th February to show the contribution of migrant to the UK'. I'm a proud migrant.
I was born and brought in France and came to the UK because my parents thought UK will provide more opportunities for me and my brothers. I came here at 13 and did all my further studies here. Along the way, I always volunteered. Whether it's at school helping other migrant children with the English language, helping out at the local hospice, mentoring,etc you name it!
15 years later, I work in the NHS doing clinical trials for gynaecologist cancer. I haven't stop volunteering and have taken up campaigning for the last 4years. I work with local and national charities that deal with mental health, young parents/young mums. I'm proud to say that what I'm doing on a national level, I'm bringing to improve my local community. I've delivered mental health workshop in the Tamil community where mental health talk is taboo. I've helped/helping break that taboo. I'm in the process of rolling out a couple of ideas for young parents in Harrow from support groups to overcoming barriers such as work and study by liaising with my local MP and council. It's still in working progress but I'm getting there. I've mentored in my local community and seen anxious and shy young (English shall I add) women now confident and making their own path in this world!
So as a migrant, not only I am contributing to beat cancer during the day but after the kids have gone to bed, I put on my campaigner/volunteer cap on and try to make this community and country a better for my beautiful children and for all the others living in Harrow and UK!
And what do this migrant's children do as well? Volunteer of course! Lucky is only 7 but she is enrolled as a local community champion for the local council winning an award recently for her work and volunteers for the National Children's bureau.
So next time you complain about how migrants take up your jobs, how migrants just stay on benefits, etc... think about where your Dr comes from, who is helping you sort out your car/house, who is teaching your child?
So don't judge migrants. Before judging migrants whether they are good or bad to the UK, maybe think about you first and if you are in the position to judge anybody else!
I was born and brought in France and came to the UK because my parents thought UK will provide more opportunities for me and my brothers. I came here at 13 and did all my further studies here. Along the way, I always volunteered. Whether it's at school helping other migrant children with the English language, helping out at the local hospice, mentoring,etc you name it!
15 years later, I work in the NHS doing clinical trials for gynaecologist cancer. I haven't stop volunteering and have taken up campaigning for the last 4years. I work with local and national charities that deal with mental health, young parents/young mums. I'm proud to say that what I'm doing on a national level, I'm bringing to improve my local community. I've delivered mental health workshop in the Tamil community where mental health talk is taboo. I've helped/helping break that taboo. I'm in the process of rolling out a couple of ideas for young parents in Harrow from support groups to overcoming barriers such as work and study by liaising with my local MP and council. It's still in working progress but I'm getting there. I've mentored in my local community and seen anxious and shy young (English shall I add) women now confident and making their own path in this world!
So as a migrant, not only I am contributing to beat cancer during the day but after the kids have gone to bed, I put on my campaigner/volunteer cap on and try to make this community and country a better for my beautiful children and for all the others living in Harrow and UK!
And what do this migrant's children do as well? Volunteer of course! Lucky is only 7 but she is enrolled as a local community champion for the local council winning an award recently for her work and volunteers for the National Children's bureau.
So next time you complain about how migrants take up your jobs, how migrants just stay on benefits, etc... think about where your Dr comes from, who is helping you sort out your car/house, who is teaching your child?
So don't judge migrants. Before judging migrants whether they are good or bad to the UK, maybe think about you first and if you are in the position to judge anybody else!
Monday 20 February 2017
Surviving half-term as a working mum
Ah... Half-term! As a working mum, it fills me with guilt that I can't spend the whole week with them! I love looking after my family and that's why I always look forward to the holidays even if it means just having 1day off. Usually, on the days I'm at work, I need to come up with ways that will keep them entertained. Thankfully, no holiday childcare is needed as dad is always home during day. I pre-plan everything. I plan what to do over the weekend and what day I could take off depending on what's going on in and around London. At home, they have a structure anyways and so it's nothing out of routine. On Sundays, I plan what they need to study over the next week. I plan fun activities that they will like is going to Hobbycraft and stocking on lots of bits and bobs. I also organise at least 1 play date for the whole day at their friends' house.
From Friday, it was my day off so we had a long weekend as a family with lots of outings. We visited the local library for storytelling. It's called Tigeropolis and was all about vegetarian tigers which Mahi was disappointed about because he wanted gory details! But he still asked lots of clever questions and was impressed shy how confident he has become. We went to Museum of London to learn about the Great Fire of London as Laksha was learning about it. Mahi's best friend came too so it was nice to have some company. We took part in storytelling and did activity trail around the museum. However, the kids came restless quiet quickly as I think it's more suited to older kids and adults. Is half-term even half term without a trip to the Museum. This time it was Mahi's turn and what did we watch... drum roll... The new Lego Batman movie. It was such a good movie! We were jiggling in our seats to the songs, laughing but mos for all the kids learned about the importance of team work (which I hope is going to last more than a couple of days)! Mahi stayed until the very end credits dancing around in his own as he didn't want to leave. We then visited one of my kids favourite place, Kidzania. We've only been there once before but I along with the kids seriously love the place. It's all above role playing. They start off with some money and have several 'jobs' and places to spend. Basically, it's the miniature version of the adult world but less expensive and less cruel. So while Laksha was the saver, Mahi was a spender. He spent a lot but was pleased that he didn't need any help with counting the money he had to give away. He even went shopping on his own. Laksha's money skills were on point! She knew how much she had and so indulged in some spending that won't break her bank. I was so proud of her when I begged her to try the radio show and being a news reader( because I secretly wanted to do it myself but no adults were allowed in the acitivities) by saying it paid a lot but she got annoyed at my constant begging and replied"Mummy! It's not all about the money! It's about your passion" (which is a dialogue I use with my husband a lot so eventhough I was proud of Lucky for standing up to what she wanted to do, I was proud of myself). The kids loved trying out new jobs. 4 hours still isn't enough. We were all exhausted at the end! And then before you knew it, half term was over 😭😭😭
From Friday, it was my day off so we had a long weekend as a family with lots of outings. We visited the local library for storytelling. It's called Tigeropolis and was all about vegetarian tigers which Mahi was disappointed about because he wanted gory details! But he still asked lots of clever questions and was impressed shy how confident he has become. We went to Museum of London to learn about the Great Fire of London as Laksha was learning about it. Mahi's best friend came too so it was nice to have some company. We took part in storytelling and did activity trail around the museum. However, the kids came restless quiet quickly as I think it's more suited to older kids and adults. Is half-term even half term without a trip to the Museum. This time it was Mahi's turn and what did we watch... drum roll... The new Lego Batman movie. It was such a good movie! We were jiggling in our seats to the songs, laughing but mos for all the kids learned about the importance of team work (which I hope is going to last more than a couple of days)! Mahi stayed until the very end credits dancing around in his own as he didn't want to leave. We then visited one of my kids favourite place, Kidzania. We've only been there once before but I along with the kids seriously love the place. It's all above role playing. They start off with some money and have several 'jobs' and places to spend. Basically, it's the miniature version of the adult world but less expensive and less cruel. So while Laksha was the saver, Mahi was a spender. He spent a lot but was pleased that he didn't need any help with counting the money he had to give away. He even went shopping on his own. Laksha's money skills were on point! She knew how much she had and so indulged in some spending that won't break her bank. I was so proud of her when I begged her to try the radio show and being a news reader( because I secretly wanted to do it myself but no adults were allowed in the acitivities) by saying it paid a lot but she got annoyed at my constant begging and replied"Mummy! It's not all about the money! It's about your passion" (which is a dialogue I use with my husband a lot so eventhough I was proud of Lucky for standing up to what she wanted to do, I was proud of myself). The kids loved trying out new jobs. 4 hours still isn't enough. We were all exhausted at the end! And then before you knew it, half term was over 😭😭😭
Wednesday 15 February 2017
Valentine's Day
i don't understand why avalentine's Day is so commercialised! I'm not a romantic person at all. I hate flowers and all these soppy messages their partners... yuck! But everyone is different I suppose! Valentine's Day is a day where I tend to scroll down social media pages very quickly. The pressure of having this picture perfect couples and how their marriage is so wonderful (when you kno exactly that it is not as wonderful as they claim it), it's just too much!
But who said Valentine's Day has to be the love that is between partners?? I believe it is love as a whole hence why since having my kids, I don't mind celebrating Valentine's Day. I only knew about pure, true love when I had my kids. They taught me it! I always look forward to Valentine's Day just because I love all the whispering between the kids about their surprise for Mummy and Daddy. And you know that it comes straight from the heart with just pure and innocent love. The way their face lit up when we go out for a meal or order their favourite take out (we rarely do take out or go out to eat). That's why I love celebrating Valentine's Day with my kids. Valentine's Day is so over commercialised and with social media pressure, the true meaning of the day is lost. Try and celebrate it with kids. See it through their eyes and you'll know what true love really is.
But who said Valentine's Day has to be the love that is between partners?? I believe it is love as a whole hence why since having my kids, I don't mind celebrating Valentine's Day. I only knew about pure, true love when I had my kids. They taught me it! I always look forward to Valentine's Day just because I love all the whispering between the kids about their surprise for Mummy and Daddy. And you know that it comes straight from the heart with just pure and innocent love. The way their face lit up when we go out for a meal or order their favourite take out (we rarely do take out or go out to eat). That's why I love celebrating Valentine's Day with my kids. Valentine's Day is so over commercialised and with social media pressure, the true meaning of the day is lost. Try and celebrate it with kids. See it through their eyes and you'll know what true love really is.
Monday 13 February 2017
London Children Bookswap and Imagine children's festival
Another weekend go by so quick? Where does the time go?
We started the weekend on a high as Lucky's team won 1st prize at the District Beavers Group Wuiz Night. It wasn't her first award but since it was 'the prettiest award' she's ever received, she introduced the whole family and gave a tour of our flat to the award!
The next morning, the kids didn't want to go to their classes because it was too cold! I reluctantly agreed because who wants to play tennis at 9am with -1 temperature. But that didn't mean having a lie down. The kids still woke me up at 7. What is up with that?? Anyway we had a fun afternoon planned so better get up and start the day.
Every year, in London, there's a massive children's book swap. It's one of those annual events we always look forward too. This was our 3rd year and this time we went to one of our favourite places in London, the Southbank Centre and just to coincide with another one of our favourite events, Imagine Children's Festival. We got ready for our book swap last week and packed 2 bags full of books we no longer wanted. As soon as we came to the Southbank centre, that's exactly what've done. While Lucky was grabbing all things horrid Henry, horrible histories and wanted to expanding her author ranges, Mahi took anything that looked gory, with spiders, dinosaurs and sea mammals on the cover. We kept dropping back to the station to see if there's been new addition to the swap.
Imagine Festival this year had a Nordic theme. We grabbed some books written by Nordic authors. There was a huge Lego workshop which Mahi absolutely adored, helping to put in together a huge picture made up of Lego. There was a Rave-a-too party and we busted some serious moves and swirled in the confetti rain! There was no shame at all! I am a mum with no shame! I'm that mum who is not embarrassed to have fun with my kids as long as they are not emebrassed. I'm the mum who slides down slides, who will be playing around on those huge soft play centres blaming it on Mahi that he needs my help (he doesn't need my help but what is the point of having kids if you can't use them as scapegoat?). I have no shame! So it was us 3 busting robot moves, Mahi doing his version of street dance and me and lucky twirling and doing lifting. They also had dens so off the kids went to play around (sadly it was too small for me) :( Anyways, there was so much going on we couldn't do everything. Something that happened every year! If you are in London next year, go for it! It's awesome. London Booksawp happens at different venues and again one not be missed!
We then wondered around the market and had some food! Lucky is a big rainbow cake fun and we saw the biggest rainbow cake ever! It was so yummy! Mahi chose banana in chocolate and marshmallow topping. The boy ate the marshamallowsnand scooped the chocolate only. The nana was a forgotten case. I paid £3 for just marshmallow and runny chocolate basically. Typical!!!
Anyways we had a blast and we had a glow stick party before we all cuddled up to bed.
Sunday is our PJ days. We love Sundays. It's pancakes for breakfast and some kind of fun tidying up. The kids couldn't wait to put up their newly swapped bpokedmon their bookcases. We also tied up both their memory boxes. It was nice to relive the stuff I stored away. Like their first dummy, their first ultrasound picture, how we picked their names, their first scribbles etc.. I even have their umbilical cord! Yep! We always do some baking so since it's Lucky's turn to choose a recipe, we did chocolate chip muffins. Yummy! And before you knew it, it was time to go to bed!
We started the weekend on a high as Lucky's team won 1st prize at the District Beavers Group Wuiz Night. It wasn't her first award but since it was 'the prettiest award' she's ever received, she introduced the whole family and gave a tour of our flat to the award!
The next morning, the kids didn't want to go to their classes because it was too cold! I reluctantly agreed because who wants to play tennis at 9am with -1 temperature. But that didn't mean having a lie down. The kids still woke me up at 7. What is up with that?? Anyway we had a fun afternoon planned so better get up and start the day.
Every year, in London, there's a massive children's book swap. It's one of those annual events we always look forward too. This was our 3rd year and this time we went to one of our favourite places in London, the Southbank Centre and just to coincide with another one of our favourite events, Imagine Children's Festival. We got ready for our book swap last week and packed 2 bags full of books we no longer wanted. As soon as we came to the Southbank centre, that's exactly what've done. While Lucky was grabbing all things horrid Henry, horrible histories and wanted to expanding her author ranges, Mahi took anything that looked gory, with spiders, dinosaurs and sea mammals on the cover. We kept dropping back to the station to see if there's been new addition to the swap.
Imagine Festival this year had a Nordic theme. We grabbed some books written by Nordic authors. There was a huge Lego workshop which Mahi absolutely adored, helping to put in together a huge picture made up of Lego. There was a Rave-a-too party and we busted some serious moves and swirled in the confetti rain! There was no shame at all! I am a mum with no shame! I'm that mum who is not embarrassed to have fun with my kids as long as they are not emebrassed. I'm the mum who slides down slides, who will be playing around on those huge soft play centres blaming it on Mahi that he needs my help (he doesn't need my help but what is the point of having kids if you can't use them as scapegoat?). I have no shame! So it was us 3 busting robot moves, Mahi doing his version of street dance and me and lucky twirling and doing lifting. They also had dens so off the kids went to play around (sadly it was too small for me) :( Anyways, there was so much going on we couldn't do everything. Something that happened every year! If you are in London next year, go for it! It's awesome. London Booksawp happens at different venues and again one not be missed!
We then wondered around the market and had some food! Lucky is a big rainbow cake fun and we saw the biggest rainbow cake ever! It was so yummy! Mahi chose banana in chocolate and marshmallow topping. The boy ate the marshamallowsnand scooped the chocolate only. The nana was a forgotten case. I paid £3 for just marshmallow and runny chocolate basically. Typical!!!
Anyways we had a blast and we had a glow stick party before we all cuddled up to bed.
Sunday is our PJ days. We love Sundays. It's pancakes for breakfast and some kind of fun tidying up. The kids couldn't wait to put up their newly swapped bpokedmon their bookcases. We also tied up both their memory boxes. It was nice to relive the stuff I stored away. Like their first dummy, their first ultrasound picture, how we picked their names, their first scribbles etc.. I even have their umbilical cord! Yep! We always do some baking so since it's Lucky's turn to choose a recipe, we did chocolate chip muffins. Yummy! And before you knew it, it was time to go to bed!
Friday 10 February 2017
Hello Blogging World!
God! Feels a bit surreal. I wanted to blog for the last 2years but something was always something stopping me but here I am finally! Happy Birthday to me!!!
So as you can see, I'm a rambler. That's the whole point of starting my blog! My mind is always overworking and thinking different things at once. But I can scientifically explain that... I'm a left hander and we are special 🙈! Let me introduce myself before I ramble more!
I'm Sophie. I am several things - wife (still don't know how that happened), NHS worker (love my job), proud French citizen with Tamil origins (yes, I know my life is in disarray thanks to brexit - please don't rub it in my face), postgraduate student (a nightmare), volunteer/campaigner( work with awesome charities and awesome women), friend (I know, my friends are so blessed to call me their friend) but the one that I'm most proud of, well often anyway, is that I'm a Mummy!!! I have 2 monkeys... oh sorry 😐... children (I never call my children monkey, piggy or donkey, no way!!). Lucky is 7 and Mahi is 4. There are my world and my life! If it wasn't for them, I don't know where I would be! But it's no plain sailing of course.
I think the above paragraphs will tell you about what I'll be blogging about. But why am I starting to blog? I guess because I'm better at expressing my feelings on paper then vocally. But also because I hope this will help someone else. I won't go into too much details but I wish someone was there, a couple of years ago, to tell me things that I didn't know at the end. To tell me things that as they are. Not these happy, wide awake mummies you see on ads leading a perfect life. I wanted someone to tell how life is really is! Not those old Disney movies where once you get married at 16 that is your life complete. So I hope this blog will show you what real life is with its many ups and little downs.
Let's begin this journey then shall we??
God! Feels a bit surreal. I wanted to blog for the last 2years but something was always something stopping me but here I am finally! Happy Birthday to me!!!
So as you can see, I'm a rambler. That's the whole point of starting my blog! My mind is always overworking and thinking different things at once. But I can scientifically explain that... I'm a left hander and we are special 🙈! Let me introduce myself before I ramble more!
I'm Sophie. I am several things - wife (still don't know how that happened), NHS worker (love my job), proud French citizen with Tamil origins (yes, I know my life is in disarray thanks to brexit - please don't rub it in my face), postgraduate student (a nightmare), volunteer/campaigner( work with awesome charities and awesome women), friend (I know, my friends are so blessed to call me their friend) but the one that I'm most proud of, well often anyway, is that I'm a Mummy!!! I have 2 monkeys... oh sorry 😐... children (I never call my children monkey, piggy or donkey, no way!!). Lucky is 7 and Mahi is 4. There are my world and my life! If it wasn't for them, I don't know where I would be! But it's no plain sailing of course.
I think the above paragraphs will tell you about what I'll be blogging about. But why am I starting to blog? I guess because I'm better at expressing my feelings on paper then vocally. But also because I hope this will help someone else. I won't go into too much details but I wish someone was there, a couple of years ago, to tell me things that I didn't know at the end. To tell me things that as they are. Not these happy, wide awake mummies you see on ads leading a perfect life. I wanted someone to tell how life is really is! Not those old Disney movies where once you get married at 16 that is your life complete. So I hope this blog will show you what real life is with its many ups and little downs.
Let's begin this journey then shall we??
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