Embracing other cultures

It wasn't intended but when I saw it was Commonwealth Day toda, I couldn't delay in posting this blogpost. We are quite lucky to live is country which is multicultural. As someone who was born and brought up in France coming to England was a shock especially when I saw how they loved celebrating other cultures like Diwali or Eid! You don't get to see that in France. But it's disheartening to see such a multicultural country has voted for Brexit and seen an increase in hate crime.

That's where good parenting will help. As parents, we have the responsibility to bring up our children as well rounded. We need to teach them respect to ALL people regardless of colour, race, religion or ethnicity. If that respect is taught from the beginning, when they grow up, they'll only see people as people and not defined by any other things. I have never bad-mouthed another culture not even a back-hand comment because kids pick up things around them very quickly. As parents, we are setting an example me if our example is to be respectful of all people then they'll reproduce that. Tell also copy the opposite of that's what they see.

Which is why since a young age, I always take my kids to any big cultural celebrations! Of course w celebrate our Tamil events but we also celebrate everything from St Patrick's Day to Eid. Before I take them anywhere to celebrate a culture, I quickly research so I get facts right. And so like that, we celebrated our first Holi. Holi is an North Indian celebration to welcome the arrival of spring. I had no idea what to expect except that they'll be a lot of colours to be thrown around and to wear a white t-shirt. So off we went to a family friendly Holi event in the neighbourhood on a rainy Sunday afternoon. We were welcomed by lots of food and loud music which immediately got us into a dancing moods. There were lots of games for kids and at the end, for about an hour, all we did is spayed coloured water and threw coloured powder to each other! I had a blast and he kids had a blast.  We were exhausted but at least now the kids have expanded their knowledge now on cultures. It was a good thing too that we went because Mahi's nursery is v eh proactive in celebrating all cultures so Holi will be discussed and Mahi can now share what it actually is. We'll be celebrating our first St Patrick's day this Saturday (minus the 🍺) . All I know is that we'll be wearing green. I still need to do my research on why Irish people celebrate St Patrick's Day.

It's important to be open-minded about all cultures. I don't know what the future holds for my kids but al I know is that the community where they'll be living will be more diverse than it is. So by celebrating all these different communities, my kids have a better understanding of different people and respect each and every one they'll encounter. In return,  hopefully, the world will be kinder to them.

Fantastically Great Women who changed the world

I was so excited to get this book, mostly for me but also for the kids. It was a gift to myself, a treat, for International Women's Day. Written by Kate Pankhurst, a descendant from the mighty Emmeline Pankhurst who fought for women's vote, I couldn't wait!

So when I got home, there it was gloriously waiting for me. Well, when I say gloriously waiting, what I really mean is, the book is being angrily pulled and pushed between the beings I gave birth to. Once, I settled the fight about who's book it actually is, they calmed down, I allowed to have the first read. So Laksha eagerly started the book with her brother listening to her. Laksha was amazed at all the facts and colours! She kept saying "Mummy did you know...?" There were women on there,  I never knew existed and so broadening my mind. It was great to see women from different background being portrayed from Aztec to Jamaican.. Laksha was delighted to see her most favourite hero Mary Seacold being in this book as well as Rosa Parks and Anne Frank. Mahi kept banging on about the "dinosaur lady" and was explaining to his dad that some dinosaurs were also discovered by women and not all men!

Lucky and Mahi took the book to bed as they couldn't put to down and eventually fell aslee, book unfinished. Lucky finished the next day and she looks somewhat disappointed.  I asked her why when she looked so happy and big-eyed as she read women and after women. Lucky asked me a question that not only surprised me but made me sad. "Why are they no amazing women from India or Sri Lanka?" I think why she actually meant is that why were they no Asian women in that book.  I thought she must have had missed a page? Surely something might have been there - at the least something about the inspiring Sophia Dupree Singh who also  fought for women's right to vote along with Emmeline Pankhurst. But no, there were no Asian women in the book.


However, out of this revelation came another beautiful thing from my angel. Since there were no amazing Sri Lankan/Indian women worth enough to be in a book, Lucky declared that she also wanted to change the world. As I had a few tips we shared, we sat down in a cafe and discussed what she really wanted to change and how we can start making plans for it now little by little. Lucky wanted to change people ans then thought better of it and wanted to help with animal conservation which bodes well sonce she wants to become a zoologist and has always bugged to to donate to WWF. So our first step, was obviously to adopt an animal of Lucky's choice. And then the next step was to research more about animal conservation and preventing animals from being extinct. So yes, Lucky has a long journey ahead but at least she started at 7 so hopefully will see a huge change in about 50years if we are lucky?

Thank you Kate for writing this book about some amazing woman. Thank you for showing my son that not all discoveries are by men and there's always a woman involved in making those discoveries. Thank you  Kate for bringing to us women that we never knew about from different countries. But the greatest thank you to you Kate is for not including an Asian woman in your book because you have have initiated the growth of another amazing Asian girl who will turn into one of the most fantastically great woman.

Budget 2017

I tried very hard not to watch or follow anything about the Speing Budget announced on Wednesday but I couldn't resist to take a peak in the hope that some relief will come for working families like mine who are struggling to make ends meet. But alas, that was wishful thinking and now hope I could rewind the clock and be in my world of oblivion.

This government is banging on about how it helps working families but i think I'm missing the point unless to Tories the word 'help' means ' torture'. There's going to be another inflation with salaries barely going up. Living wage is rising from £7.20 to £7.50 but I still don't know how they came to the conclusion that amount is ok to live on! Meaning that instead of worrying which bill I need sacrifice this month in order to juggle day-to-day life, I need to now think of which billS , I need to avoid to pay so I can have food on the table and be able to travel to work. Life is so fantastic!!!

I don't know why we are being punished over and over again! We are hard working, don't claim any benefits and yet we seem to be going down faster and faster! At the last budget, I came to the conclusion I'm never going to buy a house. This budget now I could confirm that we'll be officially a working poor family! I just don't know how I'm going to stretch the money to accommodate all these price hikes that are coming to place and I'm not even mentioning Brexit and it's consequences!

Thanks to the government once again for making us poorer and poorer despite us working our arses off!

#BeBoldForChange

This year's theme is #BeBoldForChange and it was all about knowing your rights at work and standing up for them. To know how I stood up to my rights about flexible working, check my blog I've written for an organisation that is most dear to me and I volunteer for, Young Women's Trust: http://www.youngwomenstrust.org/what_we_do/media_centre/blogs/558_how_asking_for_flexible_working_hours_changed_my_life?utm_content=bufferdb632&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

But I wanted to discuss what I really thought when I saw the theme. Be bold for change to me means o stand up for what you believe in. The first time I stood up to for something I believed in was when I wanted to go to uni after a received my offer a day after I found out I was pregnant. While everyone around me was saying I could never go to uni with a baby in my hands, my baby bump gave me the confidence that I can study with her in my arms and I did without failing any exams and got a paid internship in research straight after that.

The second time I stood for something was as a class rep when nobody wanted to take action against a particular lecturer who wasn't really lecturing. Although it was too late for my year, I stilll wanted change to happen for the next year. So I raised hebissie and 2 years later, the lecturer has reduced his lecturing time! That's #BeBoldForChange.

 

The third time I stood for something as believe in led me to all the campaigning work I'm doing. How I got into it was Thriugh Young Women's Trust. It is a great organisation helping young women up to age 30 who are not in education or employment. They offer free coaching and CV advice and you can be part of a wonderful panel to meet other amazing women who are making changes little by little. More info can be found here: http://www.youngwomenstrust.org/. I thought of the time of when I was unemployed, not in education for a while and even when in 0-hour contract or with little or no pay jobs and struggled with my mental and financial health and everything I was facing as a young mother - from childcare costs, living costs and education while caring for my babies. I didn't  want my kids to go through what o went through and so so thought to try a make a change before they grow up. They was so much that needed to be changed before they became teenagers so I had to get on with the huge tasks that was ahead of me. Starting with young women's trust, I talked about childcare costs and now glad it has been extended to 30-hours free childcare for 3-4year olds as well as tax free childcare being announced today. I was a small dot in this but every dot makes a change. And that's how I started to work locally and raise awareness of lthingsnsuch as talking about mental health in the Tamil community which is a taboo subject and meeting my local MP to talk about how to bring more young women into employment. And that's how little by little I'm making changes. All for my children. It might not be a big change by the time they grow up but it will be a change nevertheless. if other women thought "Why bother?", we would never had any the right to vote, made changes to American history by shutting down racism, knew about the horrors of the Holocaust and Harry Potter would have never existed! So, I encourage other women to #BeBoldForChange. It isn't easy, trust me,  but instead of complaining, you could put all that energy into makcing a change  happen about an issue that affects you. You might not see the benefit yourself but future generations might. whag better way to start making these changes today on International Wome Day. Don't be afraid, #BeBoldForChange!

Teaching your kid a second language!

'I can't do this!' I say to myself while trying not not to pull my hair out while Is staring at the whiteboard. I've undertaken the enormous task of teaching my mother tongue, Tamil. We tried language school for 2 years but it just got repetitive eith Laksha not learning much. Although e have learned more things over the last 2 months then she has done in language school sometimes, I just feel lost in translation eon Laksha.

Tamil is one of the oldest languages with Over 200+ letters so a complex language to say the least. In tamil, one letter change or wrong pronouciation will end up in a totally differ t world so we need to rely on sounds a lot. For example, they are 3 types of L.  So yep... you csnjncdeftand why it feels like a nightmare teaching your 7 year old our mother tongue but it's got to be done. So what do I do to help me and Laksha to learn our mother tongue/second language. Lots of visuals and to take it slowly (which even with that Lucky struggles because "she's got bad memory"). We use a lot of colours too and make it interactive. Sometimes I tell her to teach me a letter with all its different sounds and to come up with words. On other days, it's me dictating to Lucky some words with the sounds from the same letter family. But Lucky's favourite is to pretend to decipher codes. I write words or see movies titles and she''ll use her books to reveal what it says. It really excites her!

 But it's so hard to teach them when the child is so forgetful (an excuse she uses when she's too lazy to think)! She's not interested in learning the language which is another thing but if you don't know at least a second language. But how do you nmake that understand to a child who is still in her own bubble so not knowing how Learning a second language now can be advantageous to her future. I guess this is what as parents we need to deal with and blackmail them into learning something they don't want to. My blackmail is that i refuse to teach her French until She learns Tamil. . As someone born and bred in France I just need to teach her French and Laksha loves the language but no can do until Miss learns her Tamil! 

My Body, My Say

As government announces sex education and relationships education compulsory, I thought of last week when my Lucky's school invited parents for a special assembly about 'My body my say' which will also touch on sex education. I thought it was great. We were introduced to how they were going to teach this special syllabus to our kids. It was great to see this initiative. It was great to see this controversial topic being introduced at an early age!

No matter how much we try to protect our kids from this horrible world and acts, the kids are going to be exposed to one thing or another soon. Unfortunately the world is getting worse and the biggest fear as a mother to me is if my kids fell victims to those disgusting peadophile predators! And that's where I thought this initiative is fantastic! I taught my kids to not go with strangers or accept anything strangers give you but I never taught them or had the strength to teach them about saying 'no' to somebody who is doing something uncomfortable to them! So to my relief the school was opening a pathway for parents to also have these much needed conversations. And I was finally ready for it!

I don't want to think about what might happen but you still need to get your kids prepared for different circumstances especially when we are not there to hold their hand! And that's why I think this compulsory education on sex and relationships is vital! It would have certainly helped me a lot if I had it!!

World Book Day

World Book Day... one of mine and my children's favourite days! As a family we love to dress up and this day as we are all bookworms in the families is the best. But as a parent living in the edge, I don't have money to just buy an outfit. What I do is make them! Yes make them! It's a daunting task for me especially with my limited sewing skills but I enjoy every moment of it especially the joy in the kids face.

My first world book day was 2 years ago for Laksha. Her favourite book at the time was 'The Singing Meaid'. I tried to loook for a reasonable priced mermaid costume but the prices were outrageous. So I decided I'll buy the fabric and get it stitched by a professional. And that's when the shopkeeper gave me the idea to do it myself. The fabrics came just around £6. So with a new found confidence and a bit of imagination, I marched home. Laksha looked a bit worried not sure if I could actually make a mermaid. I wasn't sure myself but confident that I wasn't going to ruin it for her. It took me 3 nights to that costume. My husband laughed at the costume which quiet frankly didn't help but when I start something, I'm determine to finish it. 

On world book day itself, Lucky took one look at costume and immediately hugged me saying it was beautiful. That was enough. 3 night is starting and restarting as well as sweat paid off. But to my surprise, she also won best costume at school. Not to brag but I've won several awards but this one was my proudest moment.and it total, it only costs me £9 ( with the wig!)

Now Mahi's costume tomorrow didn't cost me a thing! I rummaged though clothes that didn't fit anymore and cut out bits from them and stitched it onto the necessary clothing. I'll also be using facepainting instead of buying the props and so £0 was spent! And Mahi's reaction on seeing his costume? Priceless!

So 

Nex time, rummage around your house and you'll definetely have enough to make your costume! And oh do it at little or no cost at all . A costume that your kids will cherish as it's made full of love. So don't tell me I didn't share any tips about making World Book Day less expensive!