Happiness

Happiness... such a beautiful word and a more amazing feeling but a word/feeling that is currently lost in translation. In all the atrocities we see around the world, it’s hard to be happy. When we depend on other people to make us happy, it's hard to be happy. But happiness is needed despite all that to be able to survive and tolerate this world. So what makes you happy?

What makes me happy is of course my babies!  They are days when you are about to resign as a mother but most days is seeing the world through their eyes. Ok maybe not through a 7year old eye because currently it's full of how the world is unfair and how people need to be more helpful to each other. So seeing the world through a toddler eyes is more apt. Although maybe not my toddlers eyes since it's full of vampires, skeleton and all things yucky and scary. OK, well I give up! You know what I mean!  Seeing the world through children’s eye is beautiful. How seeing your child laugh while an ant climbs her/his arm, how catching dandelions makes them squeal in delight, surprise on their faces when you take them somewhere special, etc....I love seeing my children happy! !

But I don't depend on them for me to be happy because I'm responsible for my own happiness. That's the point people are missing! They pick a job because it's well paid/parents' wishes thinking that money or fulfilling parents' dreams is going to give them happiness. Do you know how many people I worked with have quite their high flying banking jobs and came to work in the NHS? They sold their soul to money and in return lost passion for lives. That's why when people say to change sectors , so I can get more money and stop living in the edge,  I respond that my happiness is more important than money. I chose the science field because that's what I dreamt off since I was 6! Now that I got into a job I love but not as well paid as other sectors, I'm not going to give that up. I'm one of the few  lucky ones that does a job they love. I'm not going to give up on that! When Lucky asks me what I want her to become, I say whatever makes you happy. She insists though I tell her what she needs to become. I tell her it's her life and she can become anything she likes as long as she loves the work she does!

Secondly, I do things that make me happy. When people question why I volunteer and 'waste my time for free', I laugh at their ignorance. Helping others makes brings me immense satisfaction. True I do that in my profession too but there's something about changing your local community for the better even if it takes time. Unfortunately, for some people if it doesn't involve money, why do it? That's why we are in a world driven by the pursuit of money! Going out with my kids makes me happy. I get to be a child again. I get to experience things that I want to experience. That's why weekends and school holidays, we are never home! Because I love going out exploring and learning new things! I love dancing too! I always wanted to learn bharathanatyam but never had the chance to. So sometimes, thanks to YouTube, I learn a few moves! I love looking at some beautiful human beings! After all what is the point of creating some good looking humans when you can't appreciate their beauty!   Love 90s Tamil music which brings so much nostalgia and 2000s r'n'b somgs! I love acting. My bathroom has seen some oscar-worthy performances, I tell you, and have acted on stage and screen. I adore writing.  It started when I was 8-9 when I used my cousin's computer to write my first story of a boy discovering a skeleton in his attic. And the writing never stopped from then. I find I can express more by writing than by talking. Hence why the blog started! But my main love is reading! I can't get enough of books. It's such a beautiful way to escape the world for a little bit. What will I do without books? Thanks to Mahi, I’m now discovering my creative side and hope it flourishes into something more where I can develop my skills and learn more art forms!

Thirdly, I don't rely on people for anything. I'm one that does her job herself and doesn't ask for help from other people, even if it takes longer to complete the task. That to me means I won't feel disappointed. Because with disappointment comes sadness. So I don't rely on anybody to do anything for me. Except maybe a very few people in my life (that are staying in my life because of fate), I choose the people around me very carefully. If I feel that somebody is going to bring some kind of chaos in my life and going to inject their unhappiness in my life, I cut them off! That's why my circle of friends is small and family circle is even smaller!

Lastly, food! I love food and that's one thing that never disappoints me! It makes me so happy. Except when I dream about my special treat waiting for me at home and you come home to find somebody Inhaled without even savouring every single bite!! The disrespect to food when somebody eats like that makes me angry.

Happiness is a beautiful sensation that you only are responsible for. Why do we need to be dependent on other things/people to make us happy? Isn't this your life? Don't you have a say in what makes you happy and not despite what other people say? Why compromise on your happiness to make other people happy? I did that for the first 18years of my life and looking back at it, I don't feel it was me. That Sophie was the Sophie my parents wanted me to be. This current Sophie is the Sophie I want to be (although still in development). And you know what? Being me makes me the most happiest!